you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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