I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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