absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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