uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
