we have officially lost it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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