i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
