I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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