remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
time to smoke my breakfast
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
