we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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