Michael Bay diarrhea
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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