What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize