apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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