so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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