I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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