Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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