Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
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