just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
