Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
