I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
