I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
