I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
