I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize