And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
