I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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