Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize