respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
