I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
