She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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