I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
