i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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