Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
