You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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