She announced her abortion via fbk
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
