I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
not ubering you a puppy
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
