think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
