I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
