Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
