you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize