If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
