the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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