I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize