Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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