I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The chlamydia really affected his face.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
