i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
