on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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