Cold hands, warm shart.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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