Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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