I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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