2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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