so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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