They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
