We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
