this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
