Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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