I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
