I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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