U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
