dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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