so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
