did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
